Thursday

This intoxication of scents still heighten more and more with every deep breath when you're around. A sensual seduction. The glazy eyes and loss of speech tells me you're still as vulnerable as I am. We still fail to keep our distance so once again, i relive my favorite mistake: My lust, my want, my greed. They all scream different notes of pleasure, happiness and fear. Your enclosure, your skin, your gesture still as noble and whole-hearted as I remember. This circle allows no progress. It always ends with me, laying in anticipation. Watching and waiting for that moment when you get up to leave. Too early i think to myself pretending to be asleep. Creating your movements behind closed eyes while you go through the motions of getting ready. ready for what? the answer is absent from my mind. Still i know that i will not call you today. Some sort of secret revenge of mine that makes up for your glaring absence. i know that this call i do not make will not phase you either. We both play the same game and perhaps that is why i do it. No reaction. I feel better this way and your feelings are spared. It is still you that corrupts my faith, still it is I who places all her hopes on to you. Someday you'll realize what love means to me: until then i will always love you more than you deserve.